It is amazing how it can seem that everything is falling down around you, like the world is collapsing and there is nothing you can do and all of a sudden God swoops in and just turns everything around.
I have been struggling all week, and all day today. I know this may sound stupid but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just go back and live a boring ordinary life, breathing in and out everyday and just getting by. I imagine how much easier it would be than pressing in and pressing forward into a deeper relationship, buffeting the flesh, reading Leviticus (which I actually happen to like. Weird, I know!), trying to be obedient to what God says all the time (especially when it seems I always come up short), well this list could go on for awhile.
This morning I decided I just needed to get out of town for a few days and so I planned to make the fastest exodus out of Illinois that I could. I was even shopping for hotel prices and setting up canoe rentals while I was still in the bathtub this morning! I only had two clients scheduled this afternoon so I figured we could leave this evening. My two clients turned into 5 and one that I had to schedule late tonight. So I postponed getting on the road until tomorrow morning.
My second client today, she comes in fairly regularly, came in having allergy and asthma issues. I could see that she didn't feel herself right away. I asked her what was wrong and she explained. The whole time she is talking I am thinking, "Do I ask her if I can pray with her? I wonder if she'll let me?" I got through her appointment and I didn't say anything. In fact when it was over, I thought well it wasn't too hard just to let it slide and not say a word. I know it is sad to say this, but it is where I was earlier today.
My last client tonight is a girl that I have had as a client for a few years and it is always an awkward struggle for words with this girl. As we were getting started she explained that she was getting ready to have surgery. She didn't say what it was for and I didn't press because I was still in my "I am gonna just live this boring ordinary life" mode. After I had finished we were talking and it came out what the surgery was for and I kept feeling the urge to offer to pray. I tried to fight it. And then... it just came out.
I could tell it had made her uncomfortable. So I kind of explained a little of my testimony, the way I was raised and how I got to where I was. There were many similarities in our upbringing. I talked to her a few more minutes and she admitted that she was a skeptic but it was ok if I prayed.
After we finished praying I could tell that she could feel it and the smile on her face was awesome! I knew that I knew that God heard our prayer tonight and I know that He is working things together for our good all the time. I know that when she goes back in for her surgery that when they check her she will be whole and healed and I am believing she won't need surgery.
Obviously after this awesome encounter I was completely over my funk, over being satisfied with an ordinary life. That hunger and fire were instantly stirred back up, THANK YOU JESUS!
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