Day 59 - ok... first real day I didn't pray for anyone with them

I am sorry to say that this is the first day that I actually didn't make it.  I didn't pray with anyone on facebook or via text or with them... nothing.  I am not sure why.  Maybe I was too busy today.  I am not sure.  I am pretty sure I didn't walk by anyone I knew needed prayer.  It was a two Starbucks day though, I will admit... my brain is a little foggy. 

Some things have been rolling around in my head though.  I realized I rarely ask the person who has told me that they are sick if they want prayer... I just tell them we are going to pray.  I don't know why I do that.  But I asked two people over the phone if they wanted prayer yesterday and they both declined.  It got me thinking.  Should I ask people or just not give them an option?  I guess I ask... but I kind of ask in a way that it would be hard to say no if I am standing right in front of you.  I am pretty cute and I know how to bat my eyelashes! LOL

When I first got saved and even before I got saved my spiritual Mom, she never gave me an option... In fact she would quote why I didn't have an option... Bring all things through prayer and supplication and thanksgiving before the Lord... she would say.  I really believe that.  I totally believe that God wants to take care of my every need and everyone else's every need too.  He is a BIG GOD!  I want to see more of His BIGNESS! ( I doubt that is a word, but I don't really care because it is one in the morning)

I think I need to seek Him some more on this one!

HA!  Staying up late works!  I just prayed for someone on facebook.  I love facebook! I bet she has a beautiful baby girl by tomorrow afternoon!

Day 58

      This morning at church Donna and I prayed with a man who came up because his plantar fasciitis and a spot on his arm.  As we prayed both Donna and I got a word of knowledge that he was having back problems as well. We asked him if he had pain in his back and he said that he did.  We prayed for that and the pain level which was constant and partially the result of a birth defect went from a 6 or 7 to a 3 almost instantly.  We prayed again and it took the pain level down to almost nothing.  His range of motion had increased dramatically as well.  God is so good! The guy then said that he had to admit that he had been reluctant and even negative about healing but his wife had brought him up.  He was really glad he came.  He told God that he was sorry for doubting Him and you could actually see the Lord changing his heart and increasing his faith! AMAZING!

Day 57

So the NYR was met at about 2 o'clock this morning, and it is a good thing because I didn't leave my house all day!  Why I was still awake I can't even begin to tell you; I suppose it was for a divine appointment.  I was getting ready to shut the computer down and go to bed when one of the kids from my children's school started a chat window.  I am not going to lie, I totally ignored it and closed out the window and shut the computer down.

And THEN... the Holy Nudge got stronger.  I opened my laptop back up and reopened the Facebook.  I replied to the girl and asked her what was going on.  Sure enough, wouldn't you know... she was sick.  We prayed and it only two took twice.  The fever was gone and she went to bed. 

God, You are so Good!  Please help me to listen to You and trust that it is Your voice.  I am sorry for not believing it was You and being obedient the first time.  God, I am sorry I turned my back on one of Your children.  Please forgive me!

Day 56

I was in debate this morning as to what to do with my day today.  I have been going to the gym 5 days a week with my friends... which I love, but I knew that it would be difficult today because I had scheduled some clients in the middle of the afternoon.  So I asked God this morning what I should do... I heard skip the gym and go to lunch! HAHAHAHA

Funny thing, or not so funny thing, I didn't think it was Him.  So I tried to do it my way.  When I finished with my clients early I left work and headed to the gym.  On the way there I am chatting in my head with God and He says to me, "It doesn't do any good to ask Me to be the light unto your path and the lamp unto your feet if you won't follow the light."  OUCH!!!  Still, I am thinking, 'Oh that can't be God!'  Just as I got there my friends had finished working out.  So I figured, ok, fine, lunch it is.  Where should I go? 

I went to a restaurant near my office.  It was a divine appointment.  Actually two.  Maybe three.

A girl that used to be a client at my salon is a waitress there.  It was a wonderful opportunity just to love on her and plant more seed for the kingdom in her heart!

A girl that goes to my church that needs healing in her back was also there.  We talked for a minute and she left.  Both of us didn't even think of praying... I was OBVIOUSLY not very in tune with God and His Holy Spirit today. Kind of a Bummer! I guess I was just too busy being busy.  If I want to be about my Father's business I need to stay close to Him and listen to Him when He speaks.  Jesus said, I only do what I see my Father doing.  There are even a couple songs written about that ( the one by Jesus Culture is my favorite!)

I also ran into one of my professor's there.  I said hello as I was leaving.  He is someone who has probably been hurt by the church or people in it at some point.  He is a confessed atheist.  It would have been cool if he would have seen Jesus heal my friend in that restaurant but he did overhear my conversation with my waitress. More seeds being planted in his life too.

Thank You Father for allowing me to be Your hands and feet and mouthpiece.  Help me to listen to You better.  Give me ears to hear in the Name of Your Son Jesus!

Day 55 ~ God, What do You Want me to Write About?

     I know that this sounds really lame, but I know that I prayed with someone for healing today, but I sure can't remember who!  Exhaustion must be setting in.  I am hitting midterms next week and my kids science fair is tomorrow... and I couldn't tell you if I am coming or going!

     So I sat down at the computer a little early tonight, and my question is.... God, What do You want me to write about?  He hasn't answered yet, so while I wait on Him I will just write about the successes and the misses of the day.

     This morning on the way to take my kids to school and I got stuck behind a truck doing 25mph in a 30mph zone.  I didn't yell, scream, fuss, whine or hit the steering wheel.  I was stuck behind him most of the drive to school.  Now this has GOT to be GOD!  I was really excited because it was a sign of PATIENCE! Which is so not my strong suit, and a rather good reminder as I sit here waiting on Someone to tell me what He would like me to write about!

     I met my friends at the gym and yesterday my friend and I had prayed via text message for her shin splints which were all but gone today and she was able to jog!  YAY GOD!!! That doesn't count really as today's prayer because we prayed yesterday.  I am really thrilled that she isn't hurting anymore though.

     I had a wonderful lunch with my lovely friends, picked up the kiddos from school, made dinner and went to work.

     Here is where the "miss" comes in.  My first client mentioned that her husband had been hurt in an accident and damaged his C-6 vertebrae.  She proceeded to tell me the medical issues he was having because his injury was inoperable.  I shared with her about the healing rooms at our church and invited them.  She sounded excited, but then relayed that she wasn't sure if her husband would feel comfortable with that.  She believes that God has the power to heal.  I shared with her some of the wonderful testimonies of people healed at the church and people outside the church that had been healed as well.

     It didn't occur to me that I could have shared with her and taught her the same things that we have been taught.  Her husband shouldn't need to go to a special place to get his healing.  He just needed to go to God and they are both Christians so why not at their own home, praying for one another?  I wasn't paying attention to God while she was in my office.  I wish I had been.  The good news is, she will be back at the end of March and I know that God will open up a door.  His will is to heal all of His children all of the time!  I love Him so much!

     He still hasn't told me what He wants me to write about, so I will just pray and head to bed.

     Father God, I just thank You for today.  I thank You that You are more than enough and that You are bigger than any situation we face.  I thank You that You love us so much that even the angels stand in wonder.  You are Amazing!  Father I just ask You in Jesus' Name to saturate me and my household and all of my friends and my family with Your supernatural peace.  You know what they are facing Father and I thank You that You have already provided a way for them.  I thank You for blessing us and taking care of us.  I thank You that there is Healing in Your Wings!  I love You Father.  Good Night!

Day 54, Before We Even Asked!!!

     The last couple services our pastor has been talking about the miracles in the Old and New Testaments paying particular attention to how people would get healed when even Peter's shadow would pass by!  What a miracle, no one prayed for those people but when Peter's shadow passed them they were healed.  There have been times in different services where people have been completely healed and no one has prayed for them.  My friend Barb was healed from chronic back pain for a really long just sitting in the service. 

      I had never really thought much about that until Pastor was teaching about it Sunday.  God is so good He just heals His children right where they are.  The cool thing is then God gets all the glory because we didn't even put our hands to it. I had a seed planted in me Sunday to seek that.  That God's presence would so flood out that people would get healed everywhere.  How cool would that be?!?!?!

      Tonight there weren't many people at our Wednesday night service and only a couple people came forward for prayer.  Mary and I asked the woman that came forward what she needed prayer for and she said she was having a lot of back pain after cleaning her house yesterday.  I asked her to sit in the chair and as I lifted her feet to see if they were lined up something shifted and the pain LEFT HER! WOW GOD!  We didn't even have a chance to ask Him before He touched her.

         I love it that He knows what we need before we even ask, and He is willing to give it to us because He loves us!

Day 53 - WARNING!!! This Might Mess Up Your Theology

         I know this isn't really praying for a person, but it is REALLY COOL so I am going to write about it anyway.  It is nearly midnight and I am just finishing up for the day.  This whole week has been incredibly hectic and stressful.  I am wiped out.  I come upstairs and get ready to write this and the laptop is dead.  I mean really dead.  It was plugged in and wouldn't even register that it was plugged in.  I've had problems with it in the past and the battery won't hold a charge, so it stays plugged in all the time. 

         I sat down on the bed and picked it up.  No lights on the front.  It even felt lifeless in my hand.  No warmth at all .  Dead.  I am so tired and did NOT want to go back downstairs and use the desktop tonight.  It's cold downstairs and my bed was just calling me.  I sat there and messed with the power cord checking to make sure it was securely plugged in at all points.  Still no signs of life.  Kind of half talking to God, I thought I wonder if it would work to release God's power into my laptop. 

        I know that this might sound ridiculous, but whatever.  I started praying over my laptop and just allowing God's power that is in me to flow out into my laptop.  At first nothing happened. I had my eyes closed and the first time I opened them, I was SURE I was going to see some type of life, a light or something. Nothing.  I closed my eyes and prayed again.  Still nothing happened.  I was just about to give up and go downstairs or just go to sleep and write this in the morning.  I felt like I should pray one more time.  I closed my eyes and began to pray in my spirit and all of a sudden I heard a slight whir! I opened my eyes and saw the battery lights were lit up.  Yes, I pretty much freaked out!

         God is so sweet!  He knew how tired I was but that I still want to honor my commitment to this resolution.  When I was about to come up short in my faith and my fortitude He filled in the gap!  He made a way when there seemed no way.  I think that is His specialty!  My laptop was pretty hopeless... and He brought it Hope!

          I know it may seem silly to some people.  For me, it was my best friend sharing His goodness with me just because He loves me!

         At prayer today we got to pray with a young lady who was diagnosed with glaucoma.  She had quite a bit of fluid behind her eyes.  She had come for prayer once before and really been touched by God's sweet spirit and His love and care for her.  She is going to the optometrist tomorrow to have her eyes rechecked and just wanted us to pray for her again.  As we prayed with her, fluid began to drain out of her eyes.  It wasn't tears, it was actual fluid.  We prayed for her, her family, and just spoke the Lord's words of encouragement in to her life.  I know that the report from the doctor tomorrow will be a good one! We serve a Big God who is Good All the Time!  I am so in love with this AWESOME GOD!

Day 52- Fail!

Today I was pretty much in isolation mode.  Go to class, go to the gym, earphones in, head to the library.  As little human interaction as possible! Which is not productive for loving people! ;o) I suppose we are all allowed a down day every once in a while.  Hmmmm... maybe not!

As I was leaving class today, my friend called and asked if I would pray with her because she was teaching on Acts 2 at her Bible study tonight.  I started to pray and the words were awesome.  I was calling down tongues of fire from heaven that teh people would be shaken from their comfort zones and that they would move into the hope of their greater calling and all this other incredible stuff. As I was finishing, I just felt in my spirit that it just wasn't going to happen. 

     Normally, I would have just assumed that was my natural pessimism coming out.  Instead I spoke my thoughts out loud to my friend and as I did, God filled my heart with a different prayer to pray.  We began to pray for their hearts to be open and receptive to the movement of God's Spirit.  We finished praying just as she reached her Bible study group.

     I called her later tonight to find out how it went.  Her reply, "It was awful!"  She said they basically picked every thing she said apart.  My friend shared with them her experiences of God's power flowing through her.  Another member of the group shared how she had seen a man healed when the two of them prayed for him.  Most of the people were not very receptive to put it mildly.  My friend was really bummed out about how it turned out.  It sounds like it was a serious failure.

     In reality, her words tonight were seeds being planted in their hearts.  I know that they will grow like the mustard seed.  They will become fruitful.  They may not have embraced the idea that salvation is so much more than just a "Get out of Hell Free" card, but at least they heard my friend's testimony and all the good that God is accomplishing through her and through others.  I hope and pray that I am never afraid to share my testimony with others, no matter what the cost!

Day 51 - A Breaking

        Most people look at me and they think, 'Hey, she's outgoing!'  They couldn't be more wrong.  I know the very fact that I am writing all this stuff that happens to me and posting it on the Internet makes it appear that I am bold.  It could not be farther from reality.  This whole project has been a stepping out of my comfort zone and breaking out of the box.  I am actually a pretty shy person and would even go as far as saying that I am largely an introvert.  I know, no one would ever guess!

         Anyway over the last few days I have could tell that God was trying to do something in me.  I was feeling stretched spiritually and irritated, plagued with unexplained anxiety, and negative thoughts.  I was completely in Jonah mode.  A quick trip to Tarshish and just one Sunday off from church ought to fix it, right?!?!?! I had to repent for my bad attitude this weekend more times than I can count.  After a long talk with my big brother last night I was finally calmed down and had some peace for the first time all day.  I got up this morning all bright eyed, bushy-tailed and recommitted to do whatever it was that God wanted me to do today.

        I got to church this morning and headed up to the room where the ministry team meets before service to pray.  I was totally yielded and surrendered to Him.  Completely lost in His presence.  I knew that He was removing some of the walls I had built in my life to keep people from getting too close.  It's not that I don't let people in, I am just selective about WHO. :o)  Anyway, He was nicely removing some of those barriers, and I was OK with it.

         The worship was amazing.  Pastor's sermon was one of the best she'd ever given.  At the end of service she had us come up and pray with people.  God was moving so strongly that there were a lot of people who came up for ministry.  The last woman I prayed with had a multitude of problems.  One of the heads of the prayer team was free so I asked her if she would come and pray with me.  As we began to pray, the prayer team leader asked if she could teach me something.  I said yes.  She told me to take the woman's hands and just begin to release the presence of God that was inside of me.  As I did a wave of His presence just flooded out.  It was stronger than anything I think I have ever felt.  It came in waves several more times and the woman I was praying with fell on the floor. 

           God's presence was still so strong that I couldn't stand up anymore either and went down on my knees.  At that moment I knew that He had broken through my wall.  Not only did He touch her, but He changed me.  I am completely ruined.  That wall that I have used for safety for so many years was completely destroyed.  I spent the first few hours or so trying to figure out how I was going to put it back together.  I am beginning to realize that I don't want to put it back.  God explained it to me like this: before I would let His spirit and His love trickle out of me, just enough to pray with someone and move on.  This was the opening of the flood gate of Heaven.  If I would continue to allow Him to flood through me it would bring His love to so many more.

         What am I supposed to say to that? Pretty much, nothing but, 'Yes, God, I love You, God, Anything for You, God!'  I am quickly reminded of those prayers I prayed as a baby Christian, 'God, let me see Your people the way that You see them.  Let me love them like You love them God!'  God hears and answers prayer.  He is certainly teaching me how to walk out those "Big Girl" prayers I prayed.  I am so grateful for His mercy and love especially when I feel like taking a trip to Tarshish.  I am especially grateful that He keeps me from taking those trips most of the time and when He does let me take them they are very short trips!
        

Day 50 - Rough Day

       So today was not nearly as lovely as Friday, but I suppose if everyday were Friday then I wouldn't appreciate the Fridays!  I struggled all day.  I just finished taking a class that was offered at our church.  It was really pulling and stretching me.  We were in that room for 8 hours today, and by the end, I was so over it.  I was ready to get the heck out of Dodge!  There were quite a few people that attended the class that were not from our church and the instructor opened the altar for healing ministry at the end of the day. 

       I caught the nod of the pastor to come and pray with people.  It was the last thing my flesh wanted to do, but my spirit desperately wanted to.  I grabbed my friend on ministry team.  We went to the front and were asked to pray with a lady.  She gave us a laundry list of ailments.  Here is the really AMAZING part!  The last 8 hours, the exhaustion and the "I am never going to get this" immediately melted away.  It was awesome!  As Jackie and I began to pray God showed up and He healed this woman.  Right there as we held her tiny hands, God released His healing power in her body.  The pain she was having in her legs and back was completely gone.  She had pain in her stomach.  Gone! She had anxiety and high blood pressure.  Gone!  Totally Healed!  God is SO GOOD!

       I still can't believe after all of my whining and complaining today that He would still use me.  God I am so sorry that I was hesitant in following You wherever You go.  Father I repent of my SUPER BAD ATTITUDE today.  Help me to be more like Your Son, completely submitted in everything You ask of me.  Remove from me anything that would prevent me from serving You with all of my heart, with all of my mind and with all of my body! I love You, God!

       P.S. If anyone reading this thinks that I am perfect, today certainly proves that I am not.  I am just an average girl who is trying her best to live out His will for my life.

Day 49 - Answered Prayer

    I love it when God hears and answers our prayers.  I love it even more when I recognize that it is Him!  I have been praying for a friend of mine to be able to open up her heart to me.  She has sickness in her body that I know that God wants to heal.  It is always His will to heal, all the time.  I truly believe that with all of my heart.  He is a good Father and no good Father would want any of His children hurt or sick. 
  
   So I have been praying for opportunities to minister to this person.  To love her like Christ loves her, unconditionally.  That in itself is a miracle.  Let me just say that if you had known me B.C. ( Before Christ), unconditional love and my name would not have been in the same sentence.  I have been one of the most self centered and judgemental people that I know.  That is really saying something because I know a LOT of people!  But God is a big God and He does use the dumb things in this world to confound the wise. 

   I love that He has changed me to the point that I am actually praying and asking Him to let me love His people the way that He loves them.  AMAZING!!!

    She even asked if I would pray with her before I left.  We went for a jog outside and realized we were running late on the way back.  I asked if we could pray while we walked.  She agreed.  So as we walked down the path we held hands and prayed and I knew that God was doing something beautiful!  It was a really awesome moment.  And then...

      I look up and see this guy running toward us on the path and realize that he is staring at us... because we are holding hands.  I could barely hold in my laughter because I knew what this guy had to be thinking.  As soon as he was out of ear shot I completely almost fell over laughing.  My friend said, "You're right.  He totally thought we were lesbians.  I think it made his day!" Both of us just started laughing.  I laughed so hard I almost wet myself, it was terrible!

       God is so good.  I am so glad that He has allowed me to be His hands and His feet and love His children!  I am grateful for everything He is teaching me especially for patience and unconditional love with people!

Day 48 - The Sweetest Story

   This afternoon I had some extra time and came home to work on the computer a little before picking up the kids.  I had a window open with Facebook pulled up.  All of a sudden a chat window popped up from my daughter's friend.  I asked her why she wasn't in school.  She replied that she was having chest pains and stayed home from school.  I asked her if I could pray for her and she said yes. 

    We prayed and asked God to take away the pain and relieve any congestion.  She immediately felt better!  When we were finished praying. She said, 'I love you.'  I said, 'I love you too Alyssa.'  It was the one of the sweetest moments in my life.  I get to pray with my kids friends and see God at work in their lives.  It almost made me cry. What an awesome privilege.

Day 47 - Right Where We Stood!

       Today was an absolutely beautiful day! Spring was in the air and I got to be outside on a nice long walk with a friend.  My last class of the day was cancelled because it was too beautiful outside to be inside! I love Dr. Heil!  She is my new favorite professor!  God is so good!  Instead of it being another stress filled Wednesday trying just to make it from point A to point B on time all day long, it was a rather wonderful day!

       Tonight at church, I was standing beside my friend as the service was closing and she kept rubbing her neck.  She said she had a pinched nerve in her neck.  As we stood there and the pastor was praying over the congregation, I put my hand on her shoulder and neck and began to pray.  God released His healing into her right then.  I think we only prayed for about 30 seconds!  I asked her how her neck was and told her to move it around.  The pain was totally GONE! The tension in her shoulders was gone as well! God is so Good! He loves us so much and just loves showing us how much He cares for us! I am so grateful that He cares for sore necks and shoulders, parking spots and stress less days. I love Him so much!

Day 46 - Just Being Silly

        I know this is going to sound completely lame and un-spiritual; however, I serve the God who is above all things and I want to share His goodness with everyone, so take it with a grain of salt!

        Like every Tuesday we meet at around 11:15 for corporate prayer at church.  There are usually only a handful of us and it is very sweet and intimate.  Toward the end of the hour, one of the guys in the group asked if we could pray for him as he felt his blood pressure rising even while he was standing there.  We all came in a circle around him and began to pray.  After only a few minutes of prayer, you could see the flush come out of his face and his color return to normal and the Peace of God just flooded him.  It was beautiful.  He looked up with tears coming from his eyes and said, "I couldn't have gotten that at any doctor's office!"  Glory to God! He left feeling one hundred percent!

       On our way out the door to lunch at the restaurant we eat at every week, Donna and I half jokingly prayed and asked God to find parking spots at the restaurant as we walked to our cars.  Last Tuesday it was so crowded we couldn't find parking spots and went to another restaurant.  I ended my prayer with, "And God let us please have the good table, in Jesus Name AMEN!"  I know that seems extremely ridiculous with all that is going on in the world, with people dying of hunger and cancer and war that I would pray for the corner booth and a good parking spot. It does say in the Word, however, that we are to come before the Lord in all things with prayer and supplication, right? So I suppose it applies to the corner booth and a parking spot as well!

        When we got to the restaurant we all found parking spots relatively quickly, and wouldn't you know that the corner booth emptied out just as we finished ordering our food!  I know that seems really silly, but I knew immediately who to thank.  My Jesus!  Who even cares enough to hook me up with a good parking spot and the best table in the house.  God is the God of ALL things, not just of the big things and not just of the small things.  I know this may wreck someone's theology.  I hope it does!  We could all use a little more wrecking by Him who created us! 

          And if there is someone out there who is hurting and they don't understand why God doesn't seem to be hearing their prayer.  Don't worry He hears.  He is mindful of us in our big needs and our silly little wants too! He loves to delight in us as we take delight in Him.  He will provide everything we need because He is always good!

Day 45 - Happy Valentine's Day Daddy!

      So today I spent more time praying for myself than I did for others.  I had a few people call and text me with prayer requests.  But the large part of the day I spent praying for myself.  I know that sounds weird or self absorbed or whatever.  As I have been walking this journey the last few weeks, I becoming more aware of how much more I need Him.  I need Him so desperately in my life.  I need more of Him.  I am so hungry and thirsty for everything that He has and in Him is all life. 

     The Father is taking me through a process of breaking me and changing me to be more like Him.  I probably need more prayer than anyone at the moment!  I am suddenly aware of how cold my heart has grown.  As I begin to cry out to Him, He hears me and there is an incredible breaking in my heart, a changing.  The ice is melting off and the flame of love is growing brighter.  This is oddly appropriate being Valentine's Day and all, the day that we celebrate love.  The one person that we need to express our love to the most is God.  I can think of no better husband for humanity.  He gave the one thing He loved the most so that we could have life and life more abundantly.

     Father help Your flame to burn brighter in my heart than it ever has before.  Take away all the darkness in my life that Your light may shine brightly for all men to see.  Break me, change me, mold me in to the woman of God that You have called me to be.  Let Your love flow through me freely.  I thank You that You have opened my eyes to see how much I desperately need You and how much I love You.  I thank You that You first loved me!  Happy Valentine's Day God!  Help me to live out Your hearts desire and show Your love to Your bride, humanity!

Day 44 - Not Just another Sunday

      Sunday is undoubtedly one of my favorite days of the week.  I get to see all of my wonderful friends and adopted family at church and we worship God together.  It is THE BEST! I am a church snob, and I do believe my church is the BEST church that there ever was.  All of you who go to other churches that is just too bad! LOL! I am just kidding!  All joking aside, I love when God plants us in a church where we are encouraged and taught to grow, where we blossom and are helped to bring forth lots of good fruit.  When I found my church, or rather when God got me there, I was truly blessed!

       I get to pray with people at every service to see God work in their lives and it is such a beautiful and amazing thing!  I got to be prayer partners with one of my spiritual mothers today.  She is an amazing woman of God and walks in several strong anointings so it is really a blessing to me when I get to pray with her for others.  We prayed for a lady who had fallen on the ice and injured her wrist. We felt the swelling  instantly go down in her wrist.  As we were praying, her leg which she had broken 25 years ago and hurt fairly regularly was also healed without request!  Through the operation of the gifts of words of knowledge, discerning of spirits and prophecy the Lord also led us to pray for pain in her back and worry in her mind. We were able to speak the words that God had on her heart for her and she left a different woman than when she came! God is so Good! I just love seeing Him love on and bless His children. It makes my heart so happy!

      It is always His desire to show us that He loves us.  He is such a good Father! I am so blessed that He has planted me in a place that I can continually learn and grow into the woman of God that He created me to be! I am so GRATEFUL! With God there is not one day that is just an ordinary day, ALL of them are EXTRAORDINARY!

Day 43 - Tearing Down the Walls

       This journey so far has proved to be an AMAZING learning experience thus far.  I've been learning about myself, about God and who He is, and who I am in Him.  It has been incredible.  The next phase of my training seems to be in LOVE.  I find that oddly appropriate as we approach Valentine's Day.

       When I look at the gospels there was love in everything that Jesus did.  In every miracle, Jesus had love and compassion for the people involved.  In order to pursue a life of living miracles we must pursue LOVE.  Like everything I do, I don't just wade in, I have to do it full force!  I watched Heidi Baker, who just oozes love out of every pore of her body, last night.  I went to Borders today and bought a book, Thrift Store Saints: Meeting Jesus 25 cents at a Time.  It was an excellent book about loving people and truly learning to have a servants heart.

        I find it hilarious that when I was a new Christian and I would pray these BIG FULL OF FAITH prayers, "God give me a heart for Your people, help me to LOVE them like YOU love them," that the God of the Universe was actually listening and now He is answering all of those prayers in the most unlikely ways!  I woke up this morning praying for someone that I used to have to struggle to even be in the same room with.  It's not that I didn't like the person.  I did.  I just was extremely uncomfortable around them for whatever reason.  It is awfully ironic, or not so much really, more God, that this is the very person that I am called to LOVE like Christ loves the church.  I woke up praying for my new friend this morning.  As I prayed for this friend I felt the walls around my heart coming down.

         I would bet almost everyone on this planet has some sort of wall up around their heart.  Everyone has been hurt in some way by someone at some point.  We build walls to protect us from letting it happen again.  Unfortunately, those walls keep us from being able to love like Jesus loved.  He had no walls, He loved everyone.  I am so grateful that He is helping me to learn to love someone who I once found it very difficult to love.  I know that I will be able to let His love shine so strongly through me that other people around me will let their walls come down too.  Then maybe, just maybe, they will be able to love someone else until their walls come down.  God would be so glorified if we were all walking around sharing His genuine love.  I can only begin to imagine the amazing goodness that would result from hundreds or thousands of people having a genuine love encounter, even if it was only one, it would still blow my mind.

          I cannot wait to see what God has planned for my new friend and I.  I cannot wait to see all the good that is surely to come from learning to walk more and more in His love every single day.  I expect AMAZING THINGS! I will keep tearing down the walls with LOVE!

Day 42 - Faith - Stirred not Shaken

The 41st day!
      I woke up this morning and seemed that my faith was being shaken.  I know, hard to believe, right!?!?! LOL  In my alone time with God I have been praying for someone to get healed for the last week or so.  For whatever reason, my friend seems to have accepted this disease, giving me the platitude that it's God's perfect timing because they have tried everything else.  (I Know, I also shouldn't be whinning when I've only been praying for a week, either! But patience is one of the fruit of the spirit that I haven't really worked on too much!)

      When I first started learning about God and how He heals, I was blessed enough to get to go through training with Kevin Dedmon and a team of students from Bethel Bible College in Redding, CA.  That weekend changed my life.  It was sown into my heart that God wants to heal every disease in every person all the time.  I love that!  He is just waiting on us so that He can release His kingdom in this earth!

       So, why then, is my friend not healed.  This person has been prayed over by some of the best, most anointed men and women of God.  I felt myself wondering if maybe I was wrong.  Maybe God doesn't want to heal everyone of everything all the time.  Maybe I was wrong.  I thought about it all morning long.  Thanks to my pastor and one of the awesome students from Bethel, who I still get to be friends with, who reminded me what scripture says and the very nature of God which is LOVE.  I can stand firm on His Word which says that He sent His Son to die for us so that we can be healed of EVERY DISEASE.  My Faith is Stirred Up and I am going to focus on just soaking in His love more so that I can pour out His love on others.
      I got to pour out that love and pray with one of my clients tonight.  That is my favorite! They come in for a spray tan and they leave with a touch from God!  My client came in with tendinitis on the upper and lower tendons of her elbow.  As we were both getting ready to leave, she was telling me about the cortisone shot that she had gotten the day before to help with the inflammation and all of its negative side effects. 

      I asked her if I could pray for her.  She hesitated and looked like she was going to say no, but then she smiled and said, 'Sure, why not?!?!' So we prayed.  She wasn't having any pain at the moment from the shot but she was able to give me a hug before we left.  I know that God is a big God and that He will take care of her.  As we walked down the stairs I began to tell her of another client who God healed in my spray tan room.  It was so awesome because I know that it encouraged her.  I know God is doing great things!

Day 41 God, I am really sorry. Sincerely, ME

       Today is the 40th day.  I cannot believe I have made it this far!  God, this journey has been more than I would've asked for already and we're just getting started!  The number 40 was statistically significant throughout the Bible.  Jesus was fasted in the desert 40 days and 40 nights, and the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years.  At times it has been difficult to keep moving forward in this endeavor and other times it is the easiest thing.  Like Jesus and the Israelites, we all go through testing phases of our lives.  I am grateful for this one!
       I sent one of my closest friends a message and asked her to call me when she got off work.  I know it is completely lame, but I was really missing her.  I miss getting to talk with her when we don't see each other often.  We both get busy with our lives, kids and jobs and often as most friends we don't spend near enough time together. 
       While we were talking she told me that both of her kids had been battling various illnesses off and on over the last few weeks.  It was really awesome because we were able to pray for her kids together and I know that God is doing a healing work in those children even right now.  I have been so blessed to have such awesome and amazing teachers over the last few years that have taught me what the Bible says about healing.  I was able to share what I have learned with her and now she will be able to use it in her home!  Glory to God!  It's like spreading the Good News.  Not just salvation but EVERYTHING that is tied in with Salvation: healing, provision, deliverance, etc.
God is so Good! 
         Later on this evening, it hit me, that that feeling I felt when I missed my friend is the way God feels when we don't call and talk to Him.  My heart just about broke at the thought.  That as bummy and crummy as that little bit of loneliness felt to me, how much more to God, who is ignored by the majority of His beloved creation everyday, myself included.  I ditch Him for my friends, TV programs, computer games, and I am sure countless other things.  Then there are the times that He calls me.  He wants me to come into His presence.  When I do, He is so sweet, showering me with His love.  Just like with Angie, I called her because I was lonely and I missed her, but then I got to minister to her and her family.  God is really just looking for friends.  People who want to hang out with Him.
        God, please accept my apology for ignoring You and putting other stuff in front of You.   I love You!
Sincerely,
Cara
       

Day 40 - Hands and Feet

          I can't believe I completely forgot to write yesterday! After church last night I came home and got the kids in bed and went straight to sleep, forgetting everything else!  I guess that happens sometimes.  The service at church was AMAZING last night.  The Lord showed up so wonderfully. His presence was so sweet and wonderful.  I can't even tell you how many people we prayed for last night, but every single one of them were touched and moved and changed by His wonderful Spirit. 
           After the service was all but over, a young man came up for prayer.  A small group of us including our pastor began to pray with Him.  He was struggling with his mind and as our pastor laid his hand on the back of the young man's head, it was like I saw God's hand there instead.  It was the most beautiful thing I think I have ever seen.  God really does want us to be His hands and feet. 
            There is a song that goes, 'I wanna be Your hands and feet/ I wanna live a life that leads/
                                                    Surrender yourself/'
God I want to be Your hands and feet.  Make me into the person You want me to be, Father.

Day 39 - Praise Reports and a New Pair of Eyes!

         It's Tuesday, possibly my favorite day of the week.  I love Tuesdays because we have corporate prayer at church and then I go out to lunch with two of my favorite ladies!  So before I made it to church this morning a friend of mine had called and let me know that two of her family members that we had been praying for received EXCELLENT reports!  Her mom had a leaky heart valve and now she doesn't!  The doctors aren't sure what to make of that! Her husband's grandmother had had a small stroke last week and it seems that she has NO SIDE EFFECTS! God is so GOOD!
        My favorite part of this testimony though is not the awesome healing of her mom and her grandma-in-law.  My favorite part is how encouraged my friend is becoming in God's goodness.  I really believe that as she is beginning to see God's miracle working power in her life and in the lives of her family members; she is going to be able to take a hold of His miraculous power herself and begin to pray for others and see them healed as well.  God is using this as training ground to strengthen her and build her faith just as He did mine.
        No one starts out stopping people from going to the bathroom so they can pray for them.  That boldness and faith come from seeing God move in other people's situations.   I am thrilled that God is taking what He has taught me and is sending it like a fire all the way to my friend who lives in another state and she will share it with someone else and it will continue to spread!
        If that isn't Amazing enough for one day, one of the teachers at my children's school came in to our prayer meeting because the doctor's told her she is going blind from glaucoma.  We prayed and I know that God heard our prayers and when she goes back to the doctor next week, I know that we will hear a good report!

Day 38 - In the Gym

      So this morning I went to the gym to run on the treadmill and get a mini workout in before class at ten.  As I was getting ready doing some stretching I overheard the conversation of two of the people on the ellipticals.  I think they were professors, I am not sure what they taught, but they were debating the existence of God, Satan, etc.  Some people who are really smart simply over think the simply divine nature of God.  They think He has to be complicated and complex, He is; however, He is also amazingly simple.  I used to over think Him too.  I am so glad I don't have to anymore!
       I went and got on the treadmill, and Yes, I continued to eavesdrop on their conversation!  As I listened to them, I realized that they were in the same place that I was when I started on this journey about 6 years ago.  They are in that place of being hungry for more to life than just breathing in and out everyday, the place of searching, longing for purpose.  So as I turned on the treadmill, I began to pray for them.  I prayed for God encounters.  I prayed and asked God to reveal Himself to them just as He did for me.  I asked that He would make Himself known to them that they would know Him and be known.  God's Word says that He doesn't want anyone to perish, not a single one. 
        I prayed to myself.  I didn't go up and ask them if I could pray for them, I just prayed in my heart.  I know that God heard my prayers.  They quickly changed the conversation, which I am not sure if that was because I was praying or because they figured out I was eavesdropping! ;O) Who knows!  What I do know is that those two people are getting ready to embark on a journey in their life that they will never forget! I know I couldn't!  This has been an Amazing journey with an Amazing God and it has only just begun!

Day 37 - Missed It

So today is Sunday, the 36th day and also Super Bowl Sunday, the biggest day in American Football which I couldn't really care less about. Sorry Packer's and Steeler's fans!  We had a "Soup-er Bowl" party at church tonight.  My daughter and her friend came with me when I went to the grocery store to pickup a dessert to bring to the party.  As we were walking in, I saw a lady with a leg brace coming out of the store.  I hesitated for a brief second and she walked one way and I walked the other. 
           I have to say I was a little disappointed in myself. At first I tried to rationalize my behavior by saying, "well maybe it wasn't God's timing for her to be healed."  God was super gracious to remind me that it is always His will to heal, all the time.  Now I know, sometimes some people don't get healed and do not know why that is; I will ask the minute I get to heaven.  However, God is a good God and He gives and brings all good things.  If I really believe that He is good and is always willing to heal someone then I will always be willing to walk up to someone pray for them regardless of the circumstances around them.   That is His unconditional love that the Lord says He longs to loose in the Earth more fully
        I asked the Lord to help me to not walk by someone again.  So I have a new goal: Don't just walk on passed anymore.  I believe the Lord will help me with that. 
         I did also get to pray for my friend who was in the middle of an arthritis flare up.  Barb and I prayed and God healed her! She was able to move around and get some house cleaning and shopping done  God is so good!

Day 36 - Close Encounters in the Bathroom

        So I prayed for someone today in the most unlikely and awkward place I can imagine!  As always we are not on our time but God's time.  I am taking a class on how to hear God's voice and our lunch break was delayed by nearly an hour because of a late start that morning due to the weather (yes, another snow storm!).  Donna, Becky and I arrived at St. Louis Bread Co, Panera to the rest of the world, a little after one.  I ordered my food and went to use the restroom.
        I was finishing washing my hands a woman in a wheelchair came into the very small and awkwardly shaped bathroom.  I held the door for her so that she could get in.  I noticed that one of her knees was extremely swollen.  I hesitated, but only for the briefest second before asking her in an oh so extremely awkward way what was wrong with her leg.  I really need to work on my verbal skills! Ice breakers are not my strong suit and my words get all twisted up and I am sure I sound like someone who has a few screws loose! 
          Anyway, as the poor lady is trying to roll into the stall in this very tiny bathroom, I am trying to tell her how God heals people. AWKWARD!  She was really nice though when I asked her if I could pray for her, she said, "Sure."  As she is trying to close the stall door so she can do her business, I stop her and say, "No, I meant can I pray for you now."  Can you say, Supernatural Stalker!?!?!! She just looked at me for a minute and then acquiesced. I am so glad she was nice and didn't try and roll over my foot or something!
          I asked her her name and what was going on and she told me.  She gave me some name of some disease and said she had had 3 surgeries on that knee and it wouldn't heal.  As I began to pray I felt the swelling in her knee decrease in my hand and I saw her heart melt as I shared with her how much God really loved her and saw all that she went through, and that He is there with her.  At the end of the prayer she said, "Amen." and almost smiled at me.  I walked out of the bathroom and back to the table with my friends.
I guess God is really with us everywhere, even in tiny restaurant bathrooms.

Day 35 - God's Perfect Timing

        I was running late for a meeting because I had accidentally dropped my cell phone in the gym and had to go back and find it. I hurried to the car and pulled out of the parking lot headed for the church.  On the way I saw 8 deer run across the road and it was breathtaking.  A group of 3 and then another group of 4 a couple of seconds later followed by a huge buck.  Beautiful, but I was in a hurry.  I got to the other side of the road, and a police officer was sitting there with a speed trap, slowly and carefully I pulled through the intersection.  I got onto the road I live on which is in a residential area so the speed limit is 30mph.  I know this isn't all Jesus-y and stuff, but I speed, yes I do, I admit it.  Driving 30 mph on that nice wide beautifully paved road is about the hardest thing in the world, especially when I know I am running behind.  I do NOT like being late for anything!  Wouldn't you know it, but I got stuck behind a pick up truck driving EXACTLY the speed limit and not one mile per hour over!
        I fought the temptation to fuss and grouse because I know that whenever it happens that I am stuck behind someone being obedient to the law, there is a good reason, I need to slow down. I have even prayed and THANKED God for that person obeying the speed limit before and for putting those people in front of me, because countless times it has saved me from possible speeding tickets.  It says in the Word that the Lord gives His angels charge over us, lest we dash our foot against a stone.  It's true!  Had I been driving at my normal rate of speed, I would have reached the intersection with the four way stop about 15 to 20 seconds earlier and would have been plowed into by one of those giant trucks with four doors that sit up higher than my window.  The driver didn't stop; he didn't slow down; he didn't even look.  He blew right through that intersection.  His grill would have blown right through my head.  Things like that always remind me never to rush God.  Sometimes those people driving the speed limit when I am already late are really angels on a mission to protect me.  I am so glad His ways are Higher than my ways!  I am also glad I wasn't complaining about the slow driver or I would have had to repent!  :O)
        So if you have a hard time driving the speed limit like I do, pray for people who do drive the speed limit to be in front of you! Don't crab about them when they are there and it feels like you will never get where you are going.  God might be using them to teach you something, or protect you or just to help you grow in your relationship with Him by trusting Him.
         Today I prayed for myself.  I did get to pray for a couple of other people as well for healing in their minds and hearts and I know that God is working all things together for their good. He is bringing the things that need to be in their path to them and protecting them from the stuff that would destroy them.  God's perfect timing!

Day 34 - Faith, Foolishness or Presumption

           No chance of falling asleep before I write my post for today.  I drank a Pepsi trying to stay awake and study.  I thought about it before I did it, and I thought, "oh, it'll be OK, you can drink poison and no harm will come to you." I did that before once when I was out of hot chocolate mix and all I had was cappuccino, and it worked out OK.   EXCEPT THIS TIME I FORGOT TO PRAY OVER IT!!!!  DUH!!!!!  So here I am it is 1:20 in the morning and it feels like 1:20 in the afternoon I am so wide awake.
           I wonder how many times a day I do that?  I just ASSUME that God is going to do something for me without even asking for it. Pastor Sandy would always say there is Faith, Foolishness and Presumption, which one are you operating in?  I am not going with Faith on this one!  This seems to be a pattern, instead of relying on God sometimes and asking for His help, I try and do it the best way I can.  With all my good intentions I will still fall short, every time.  His way is so much better and higher than my way.
           Last week I was in a similar situation, I had had a really long arduous day and was really drained.  I came home and put on the worship music and just started worshipping the Lord. However, I didn't feel any better.  I was irritable and unreasonable and just plain crabby.  The next day was not much better.  I struggled all of the way through it.  Sunday morning I woke up and was still exhausted and cranky.  My second mom, Deb, called that morning and I talked to her about what was going on.  She said, "Baby Doll, you forgot to ASK Jesus to restore and strengthen you! You have not cause you asked not!" It was like someone turned on a light bulb inside my head.  I told the Lord I was sorry for trying to get refilled and refueled on my own, and I asked Him to refill me.  You know what happened, He did.  It was awesome!  I am so blessed to have such awesome mentors in my life to point out when I miss it!  I don't know what I would do with out them.
          So I guess that makes today's story about what happens when you forget to ask God! :O)
          I did get the opportunity to pray with Deb today.  She and her friend Pastor Crystal left on a 3-4 week mission trip to ALASKA!  I prayed and ASKED God to bless their trip and to draw those people closer to Him, to heal them, to save them and to deliver them in the Name of His Son Jesus.  I know they are going to have an awesome trip!

Day 33

      I hope I can keep track of what day I am on! It was really easy the first month and already this morning I had to stop and think,"What day is it?" Oh, well. I am a little behind anyway, typing yesterdays post this morning before I head out for school. 
      There are two people that I was praying for yesterday who are in pretty serious medical states.  I wanted to pray them healthy with everything inside of me.  However, I could feel the hand of God moving a different direction.  I know it is weird, but I could actually feel when I was not praying in tandem with how He was choosing to move in their situations. 
      Yay, for me that I gave up praying my way after only a few minutes! I can be pretty stubborn and I do like getting my own way.  My catch phrase as a child was, "You're Not the Boss of Me!" All joking aside, God is beginning to show me His way, which is good because His ways are higher than our ways anyway! I also count it a huge sign of His affection and love for us when He shows us and teaches us about His ways.  It says in the word that He made known His acts to the Israelites, but He made His ways known to Moses (Psalms 103). What an amazing thing that the God of the universe would care to show any of us His ways!
After I got over myself, I began praying for peace for the two people I was praying for, peace for them in their minds, their bodies and for their families.  I know that God will bring something good out of their situations and will use them to draw other people closer to Him.  I thank You God that You are drawing each and everyone of their family members close to You, that there will be salvations and reconciliations out of these situations! In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Day 32

            We have been snowed in all day today.  It hasn't been near the storm that they predicted, Thank God! Literally!  I know that there were thousands of people praying that this storm would not be the storm they predicted.  I personally prayed it wouldn't be so bad last night.  I didn't want to lose power to my house.  No Internet, no TV, no video games, no lights, no heat... well we do have a gas fireplace.  Either way I was not looking forward to that. 
             I know I have said before I have a tendency to be selfish and self centered and a big part of completing this New Year's Resolution was to get me in the habit of noticing others and what they must be going through.  Not only to notice it but to hopefully be an avenue for change as well.  I didn't even occur to me during the last 24hrs when I was worrying about my Internet and cable and heat, that there are men, women and children living in the streets or without heat because they can't pay the bill.  In fact it didn't even occur to me until a friend who had recently come in to some money sent me a text wondering if I knew anyone or a good organization that helps the homeless, because she wanted to help.
            That is what Jesus would do.  That kind of thought is what God wants.  Love your neighbor as you love yourself!  We were in the middle of fixing lunch, homemade chicken and dumplings (my favorite! YUMMM), and my son said something about how awful it would be to be homeless in this weather.  As a family we stopped what we were doing and prayed for all of the homeless people. I know it wasn't much, we weren't inviting anyone in to our home or taking them food, but it did shake me out of myself for a minute and made me think.  So if you think about it, please pray for the homeless, if you can take them some food or donate money to a shelter, they will be taking care of a lot more people this week!

Day 31

The last day of the first month of completing my New Year's Resolution, and I fall asleep before I finish my post, NICE!  I started writing at 8pm and got distracted.  I am glad I did because I wouldn't be sharing this story with you if I had finished it then.
         I let my kids watch a movie on my laptop last night.  As we were all sitting in my bed waiting for it to load, my son begins to tell me about a dream he had had the night before about slaying bad guys with the Name of Jesus, I was thinking WOW! how cool that my ten year old already gets that the Name of Jesus will save him in the time of trouble.  He then says to me, "Mom, I pray every night over our house when I go upstairs to take my bath that God will protect us and our house." In response my daughter chimes in, "He does, Mom, I heard him last night praying!"  How Amazing! We have not really talked about praying much lately but they watch what I do and they are growing in their boldness and the authority to "boldly come before the throne."
         I was talking with my pastor yesterday and I asked him to pray that I would have more boldness to which he replied, "I don't know how you could have anymore!?!?!" My reply was, "I am just a chicken in a lion suit."  Each and every time I see someone in a wheelchair or with an oxygen tank, with a cane or a limp, it is a conscious decision to walk up and offer to pray with them or to turn and go the other way.  Each time it is choosing to be that chicken or choosing to be that lion in Christ.  I am praying that I will be able to be the lion more often than the chicken.  I am not there yet!
         Yesterday I got to pray for baby Colin.  He was born late Sunday night 5 weeks premature.  The doctors were talking about transporting him 4 hours away from home to a bigger hospital.  My friend Chris and I prayed yesterday morning and he has been able to stay at the hospital with his mom!  Colin is not out of the woods yet though, so if anyone reads this, please keep him in your prayers!